Episode Transcript
[00:00:02] Sinky, Sinky, Sinky. What is up, seekers? Happy Monday. Welcome to a brand new week of awesome.
[00:00:10] Right.
[00:00:12] Hope you had a wonderful weekend. Aaron here with another conscious thought. Yeah, I said we talk about maybe getting into relationship things this weekend. I had a good download in the middle of last week and got a little more I think I'm brewing on right now.
[00:00:33] And this should be interesting because there's been a lot going on for me personally in this area and there's always something that everybody, you know, has questions and ideas and thoughts in.
[00:00:55] So I figured why not jump into it and we're going to start off with a big one today with how we tend to have higher expectations for our partners.
[00:01:14] Why do we have higher expectations for our partners?
[00:01:24] That question specifically, I don't really know right now. I have some ideas maybe perhaps that, you know, we chose them or they chose us, whichever way it is, and went in for it. I mean, it could have been a collective decision.
[00:01:42] I guess technically, eventually at some point it is. Right.
[00:01:47] And I guess there could be some ego coming in like they should be this type of person. This is the kind of person I want. So they should be that kind of person. Or something along those lines.
[00:02:01] I couldn't really tell you. I know I had some for mine back in the day and thanks to opening up my heart like lately and experiencing the reality that is about us in this universe, all those are gone.
[00:02:24] There's one expectation I have for everybody and that's just be you.
[00:02:34] That applies to me, my, my family, my amazing wife. Just be you.
[00:02:43] Because that's important.
[00:02:46] And it's not like I'm gonna hate you or whatever if you don't. But you're really only hurting yourself when you're not.
[00:03:00] So here's a few things to remember when you're in a serious relationship or want a relationship to become serious.
[00:03:16] And here's one that really stuck with me when it came down to me was remember the collective uniqueness and mystery of when you first met.
[00:03:31] Remember how exciting it was. Remember how new it was.
[00:03:37] If you're already married, there is that old thing of go back to your wedding day. Well, yeah, sure, you can do that if it was good for both of you. Some people, it wasn't for us. That wasn't a fantastic day for my wife, it was for me. But that's, you know, something I wanted. And at the time she didn't.
[00:04:02] But she felt like she had no choice, so she did it.
[00:04:07] That was not at all what I was trying to do or have happen or anything like that. But that's what she perceived.
[00:04:20] We're long over that now. But there are events that happened in our past that left trauma.
[00:04:31] There's no denying that. And we're working through that.
[00:04:38] And you want to remember the amazingness of when you first met because the mystery that was that person that you, you know, could have fell in love with at first sight, that is a thing.
[00:04:54] Or taken time to discover the mystery of that person is still there today.
[00:05:02] I guarantee you. You don't know absolutely every minute detail about your partner right now.
[00:05:11] Guarantee you.
[00:05:14] Because there's no way. Because there's things about them that they don't even remember, things that have happened. Most of this stuff is irrelevant to right now because what's important is the present moment. But if you ever find yourself having issues, just remember that they are an incredible, unique person, full of mystery, just like the rest of the universe.
[00:05:46] Love that. Love that mystery.
[00:05:55] Interact with them normally like they're your best friend. Because in reality they should be.
[00:06:02] Having a partner.
[00:06:04] And getting into a marriage isn't just about finances or taxes or sex or anything really, other than, in my opinion, the devotion and commitment to be with that person and only that person by choice.
[00:06:30] Because they're your best friend, the best of the best. You can't get any, any closer, any higher. That's who they should be.
[00:06:42] Because you love each other, right?
[00:06:45] A love deeper than a bro or homie.
[00:06:52] A girlfriend.
[00:06:55] A love beyond compare. And in the best scenario, as it should be unconditional, my amazing wife could walk through that door right now and say, you know, this is the end, I'm leaving.
[00:07:19] My love for her is not going to change because it's unconditional.
[00:07:28] There's nothing that she can do.
[00:07:36] There are no conditions to be met for my love for her.
[00:07:46] That's the way I feel.
[00:07:49] And in those regards, her happiness is a priority.
[00:07:57] And if her happiness is better without me, then that's the way it goes.
[00:08:05] You see, I don't want her to feel trapped here. And you shouldn't want yours to feel trapped with you. You should not be looking for ways to force them to stay.
[00:08:13] It's all should be a choice.
[00:08:18] We can all do better always.
[00:08:24] And I'm going to come out right now and say, frankly, I'm not probably the best source for relationship advice because the only thing I only girlfriend, I guess you could say I had was in middle school. And it really wasn't that big a deal.
[00:08:41] We didn't go out and do anything we were an orchestra together.
[00:08:46] We hung out at each other's houses a few times, snuggled, you know, watched movies, kissed a few times.
[00:08:57] So some might consider that important.
[00:09:00] It was pivotal. You know, I had a girlfriend, and after that, it was me pursuing other gals.
[00:09:12] And then the one that I devote my life to is one I didn't think would ever be there.
[00:09:25] She came in when I was going after another girl, and everything just kind of flowed together.
[00:09:40] And I don't regret a single thing between us because it all led up to who and how we are now.
[00:09:51] She's been the only woman I've been intimate with, so in those areas, I'm not really expert in.
[00:10:05] But what I can share is my experience with saying with one person and I might get some downloads in the future of other concepts that I can think of and consider and bring out for us to talk about.
[00:10:25] And I tell you what, right now, Daz is my best friend.
[00:10:33] I love spending as much time with her as possible because there's different life experiences with her than with my homies and my bro for life Mac. We get together and spiritual discussion, as it is with most of my circle now, which is awesome. And then we get together, we jam out some music and enjoy time like that. That's what we enjoy to do together. I'm sure there's other things we could do. You know, we went skateboarding. We'll probably do that again in the summer with that is. It's spiritual discussion. It's discussion about us, discussion about, you know, things for future and projects we. We want to do, projects we still have to do.
[00:11:22] And music comes into, video games come in a lot.
[00:11:28] And then, of course, the typical, you know, intimate couple things happen.
[00:11:39] But, yeah, she's.
[00:11:42] She's my best friend.
[00:11:45] And when she's here, because we're in a interesting situation right now, when she's here, my focus is being present with our time together.
[00:11:57] And it is absolutely amazing.
[00:12:06] Check yourself when you have these expectations come up, because those expectations are most likely for you, not for them.
[00:12:21] There's a lot of projection that happens in relationships consciously and unconsciously, and it's not good.
[00:12:32] I mean, projection is not good anyways. But when it's to the person that you're telling that you're choosing to spend your life with, why would you make your problems their problems? They have their own problems.
[00:12:46] We all have our own catalyst to work through in this life, and it is our duty, our honor, duty as partners that will happen regardless of your conscious intention to bring up catalyst to bring up distortions for our partners, for them to heal.
[00:13:08] And like, it just happens.
[00:13:13] You won't even know it. But you'll say something or do something, and all of a sudden they're deep in thought or have, you know, depending on where they are consciously, they'll reflect and look within and be like, oh, okay. Or, you know, if they're lower on the map consciousness, they might lose their. Lose their mind and then start projecting their problems onto you.
[00:13:43] Oh, if you didn't say that, I wouldn't be so pissed off. If you didn't do that thing, we wouldn't be in this predicament right now.
[00:13:54] Those are all shadow ego problems that need to be worked on.
[00:14:06] And a, you know, a good thing for that is to live by example.
[00:14:11] So if you realize that you have these problems, these, this ego, the shadow, and it's bubbling up in you and they're bringing up the trauma and the events of the past and anything like that, you realize it's happening and it starts to get into your emotional centers. Live by example and be like, you know, you know, I appreciate you bringing up these issues. It's something I need to work on. And start working on it and start healing that trauma within you and projecting that love and that light outward and onto them and into your relationship.
[00:14:44] And if they're ready, they'll go with you.
[00:14:50] It's very, very, very difficult for me to believe that anybody in this life wants to live in trauma all the time.
[00:14:58] I see it all around me, even very, very close to me. I see it all the time.
[00:15:08] I just don't believe that that's where people want to stay. And they. I don't know if it's. They feel like they're stuck, they feel like they have no other choice, or they feel like all they can do is just keep trying to shove all this stuff down to get on. But that's. That's not going to help.
[00:15:26] I've. I've been on this earth for 29 years and I have 29 years worth of trauma and emotional damage.
[00:15:41] Sorry, that's a bit of a meme now, but it just popped up.
[00:15:44] Situations and distortions and ego and shadow, all this stuff just pushed down and buried to try to hide and be whatever the hell kind of person I was trying to be at that time.
[00:15:57] It always comes up, it always bites, and it always affects you and those around you, and it's not worth it.
[00:16:11] I can only assume that the older you get in this cycle, in this experience, that the harder it is to get over those.
[00:16:22] But I don't know, I was very blessed to have the people around me that I do come to me in my time of need and I was ready to listen. And I was able to start this journey sooner than those close to me that are having the really hard, hard go at it.
[00:16:48] Even some of the happiest people you see have some of the biggest trauma regrets that they're hanging on to, guilt that they're hanging on to.
[00:17:05] They're just going to keep pushing it down or they express it personally in self injury, self harm or self deprecating thoughts and actions and belittlement of the self and worse off projection onto others.
[00:17:29] Because what you see in others and in the world around you is what you have and see within yourself.
[00:17:37] This one's really hitting me. I'm sorry.
[00:17:44] Love freely and unconditionally.
[00:17:53] Everybody.
[00:17:54] Just give love, man.
[00:17:59] Just love people.
[00:18:04] We're talking about relationships right now, but it goes for everybody, dude. Love everyone.
[00:18:10] The good, the bad, the ugly, whatever. Those labels are irrelevant because that's the experience that they chose to live.
[00:18:23] And it's all for source.
[00:18:27] They all have a purpose.
[00:18:29] Because you can't know what source is without knowing what it isn't.
[00:18:33] Love everybody.
[00:18:36] And it is hard when you have a lot of trouble.
[00:18:43] It is hard when you have a lot of past experiences that you're holding on to. It is hard when you have distortions of the mind that are either from society or how you were raised or you know, just your family, your people, your circle around you. It is hard to love everyone when you have stuck in your head that you are not them.
[00:19:07] Let me tell you something.
[00:19:09] You are them, they are you.
[00:19:17] Simple as that. That is what it. That's what everything is.
[00:19:24] Love everyone.
[00:19:30] It's a lot easier to love everyone else than it is to love yourself. But loving yourself also makes loving everyone else a lot easier.
[00:19:41] I know that from experience lately.
[00:19:46] And if especially, especially for your partner, love them unconditionally. Don't put a roadblock or a stumbling stone or a escape room, whatever you want to do. Don't put blocks between them and your love. They don't have to earn that.
[00:20:10] You don't have to earn theirs.
[00:20:15] Just love everyone unconditionally.
[00:20:23] I get it. It's easier said than done.
[00:20:26] I know. We all do. We're all in it.
[00:20:32] Just like today, I had this lady, I was going to pick up a paw print of our dock that we recently had to put down and oh my gosh, I don't have my amethyst on? Yes, I do. Okay. Wow.
[00:20:50] And this lady in this big SUV. I'm in an old 5 series, so it's a decent size car, but it's not huge.
[00:20:57] And this big GMC SUV just starts, I mean, aggressively, coming over into my lane. I'm just like, what in the world? And I slam on the brakes and go down a gear and people behind me are unhappy. And I look at this lady as she decides to slow down as. As I drive by her. Cuz I'm in the. In the fast lane. So now, you know, we're doing one of these. And just zero compassion in her face. Zero. And I'm just like.
[00:21:24] What blew my mind more is that she just about killed somebody and didn't care.
[00:21:32] Didn't care.
[00:21:36] I have nothing but love for this woman. She know she has her. Her troubles. This is her experience. But holy cow, it just. It blows my mind. I know it's out there, but because I'm not focused on seeing it all the time, it blows my mind every time I just. The lack of concern about our fellow man.
[00:22:03] This woman almost killed people and had zero compassion in her face.
[00:22:12] There's no love there.
[00:22:18] Right in that moment. She was more concerned about her.
[00:22:23] And that's okay.
[00:22:26] That's the life she's choosing to live. Those are the actions she's choosing to take, and that is what she's choosing to do. That's all fine, but being on the receiving end of that is like, whoa.
[00:22:38] Like I said, I don't focus on all the negative in the world. Because when you focus on something, you give it energy and it gets stronger. Right.
[00:22:46] Focus on the positives out there as much as I can. We all have those days. But still, majority of the time, I'm happy and I'm focusing on the great things out there, but whoo. This one, really? Today I was like, damn. Usually, you know, people will wave and, you know, do the I'm sorry thing or whatever, but this lady just straight up, zero compassion. She looked pissed off at me that I was in the lane passing her and she needed to get over, so I was impeding her life and her progress.
[00:23:26] I mean, contempt and anger and resentment was all I saw in her face. It was crazy. I'm not saying that's what she was experiencing, but that's what it looked like.
[00:23:43] And this actually kind of goes with that story a little bit. But mostly, I mean, this all goes together, right? This is a big one. Express your emotions. After first examining the powerful ones. So they are not aggressive, but shared with loving intent to share your side.
[00:24:08] So if your partner brings up a catalyst for you, as they're meant to do, and it starts to raise some emotion in you, which they're supposed to do because it's testing you to see if you're ready to, you know, fix or not fix, but, you know, heal and, and, and take in all these things and acclimate them and accept them for who and what you are.
[00:24:39] Examine that emotion if you need to, you know, tell them, hey, just give me a minute. Something's happening in me. I want to. I want to see what's going on so I don't freak out, so I don't let go of the present moment and cause any sort of harm. And if there is that love in that relationship, the other one should be like you. Do you boo, I'll wait, I'll be here.
[00:25:13] Examine it and say, like, you know, what about this? What about me needs to be worked on that is causing this powerful emotion from what my partner said, did read, you know, whatever. Whatever happened, right, it could be bringing up a past trauma, something that, a moment, an experience that you went through that you've been hanging on to.
[00:25:43] It could be from something that just recently happened and it's still fresh in your head. So you're like, why is this happening again? I mean, it could be any number of things. Whatever it is, understand that our partnership, you know, the whole idea of being in a committed partnership is the honor, duty to raise out catalysts to be healed, to progress through the densities, to help with the spiritual progression, to help with the polarization of each partner.
[00:26:23] It's a big deal, and it's something that we all should do. And most of the time, it's not even going to happen consciously. So it's just going to happen and then decide, okay, this is what I got to do.
[00:26:42] And you can start to do that right away if you want. And then you can just come back and be like, okay, if you want, you know, this is for you if you want to share.
[00:26:51] Okay, this is what happened. What just what just happened between us activated a catalyst within me. I had this reaction, so I had to go through it. So I didn't project my struggle within myself onto you.
[00:27:07] Thank you for helping show me that I have this thing.
[00:27:13] And then continue with the conversation, work on whatever catalyst was brought up, because that healing is good.
[00:27:23] You don't want to stay with that trauma. You don't want to stay with that anchor, you know, holding you back. To the past, right?
[00:27:30] Because past doesn't matter, the future doesn't matter. Can't control either of them.
[00:27:39] What's important is living right now in the present moment and making the best of the present moment, being present in the present moment.
[00:27:52] Share your side with love.
[00:27:56] This happened. I'm not projecting anything on you. This is how I feel.
[00:28:02] Let's come to a common ground if we can. If not, then agree to disagree.
[00:28:08] Right?
[00:28:10] You love each other.
[00:28:12] You should be able to reach common ground, right? I mean, come on.
[00:28:19] When you both love each other unconditionally, all of this stuff is just so damn easy.
[00:28:27] Just realize like, hey, we all have our things to go through. We all have our catalyst to go through distortions, to work through the shadow, to bring into the realization that it's us and it's okay.
[00:28:44] Love your partner unconditionally.
[00:28:54] Remember the uniqueness and the mystery of when you first met, first got together and continue to interact with them like they're your best friend. Because they should be.
[00:29:07] Check yourself because the problems you're perceiving within from them are most likely from within. You live by example. This always works for everything.
[00:29:21] Love freely and unconditionally. Do not put a roadblock between your partner and receiving your love and express your emotions.
[00:29:33] Examine the powerful ones from afar so you can not let them take over.
[00:29:43] It's okay to have them and experience them. I'm not saying it's bad to have powerful emotions. I'm saying examine them so you don't project that struggle within yourself onto your partner.
[00:29:55] And then share your side so they understand.
[00:30:00] Communication is key.
[00:30:04] Love your partner.
[00:30:09] I told you to get deep. This is just Monday.
[00:30:17] I think I just started with a heavy one because I already had it written down. But who?
[00:30:25] Well, that's it.
[00:30:28] See you tomorrow, seekers. Have a great night.
[00:30:32] Love.
